Picking Both is the Answer

“I left before I totally lost my soul.”

Variations on that theme were common reasons shared by a group of “corporate refugees,” people sharing why we’d left the economic security of executive positions for the freedom (and economic insecurity) of freelance work.

Everyone participating said they yearned for two things that they saw as in short supply in corporate America—connection and meaning. The relentless pressure for results as well as the low value placed on kindness, empathy, and compassion had worn away at everyone’s humanity, just as raging waters wear away rock.

Willing to be vulnerable, the conversation partners shared experiences about bosses and employers who:

• Made it clear there was no interest in “warm and fuzzy” at work.
• Were rude, inconsiderate, and sometimes cruel in their uncompromising pursuit of ever-better performance metrics and results.
• Reminded people that they were free to leave if they didn’t like how things were run.
• Never said good morning, how are you doing, or what can I do to help.
• Promoted, included, and rewarded heartless SOBs over compassionate leaders.
• Said being inclusive, thoughtful, and kind were signs of being weak.

Fascinating how a pandemic brings out the value of humanity, connection, and support.

With ever-increasing numbers of people forced to stay at home, 62 million people downloaded video conferencing apps in the seven days from March 14-21. People didn’t buy 62 million books on how to improve the bottom line.

People sought to connect, to give and receive support. To let others know they matter and that they’re thinking about them.

As I stare out at the sunlight dancing over the high tide-soaked marsh, it occurs to me that there are many life, love, and leadership lessons to be learned from this global experience. Lessons that can make us a better person and a better leader when Covid-19 is no longer an immediate threat, provided we’re willing to take notice.

Consider how we can . . .

1. Bring both our head and heart to work in equal measure. Too much of one or the other breeds discontent, low morale, and a cornucopia of other negative outcomes.
2. Connect intellectually and emotionally, combining logic and emotion to convince and inspire. There’s room for both gut feeling and hard data in devising strategy and making decisions.
3. Couple independence and interdependence to make space for “me and we.” There are times when being the “buck starts and stops here” person is the right thing to do. Other times, though, it’s the combined talent and magic of a team that knows best.
4. Manage results and relationships for both short-term and long-term success. People who feel unvalued and disrespected don’t consistently deliver the best results. Let’s always bring connection and empathy to our interactions, even when we’re building the budget or looking to best the competition.
5. Value both sameness and difference, and actively make room for both. Imagine how boring, constraining, and frustrating it would be to go into the ice cream parlor and find that vanilla is the only flavor available. Yet that singularity is what many bosses and employers make available to their employees.

“We need to give each other the space to grow, to be ourselves, to exercise our diversity. We need to give each other space so that we may both give and receive such beautiful things as ideas, openness, dignity, joy, healing, and inclusion.” ~ Max De Pree, business person and writer

To be that better person and better leader post-pandemic, never forget the power of “and.” The workaday world encourages “or” thinking, like picking results over relationships, logic over emotion, etc. Picking both is the answer.