This is an updated post of Overcoming Defeat. You can find the original post here.
Overcoming defeat is a state of mind. My question to you is...
Can you be defeated?
To overcome defeat, your must answer no. If you think you can be defeated then... you can be defeated. If you refuse to accept that you can be defeated, then... you won't be... ever! I know this may sound like mumbo jumbo from some whacked out guru - but - it's true. Me? I cannot be defeated. I may suffer setbacks, lose a lot of money, feel disgraced, lose sleep, get knocked down - but I refuse to be defeated.
Defeat means surrender. I give up. If you give up, it is because of your state of mind, not your actual circumstances. You can fight any circumstance. You may not get the outcome you want, but you can still fight.
Defeat is not measured by the outcome, but by your spirit and willingness to persevere.
How do you get this state of mind? By doing. Here are ten things you can do to get into a state of mind that says - I cannot be defeated.
- Look in the mirror every morning and every night, and say to yourself, "I cannot be defeated"
- If you "feel" defeated - take action. Do something. Action = Perseverance
- Gain perspective. Ask yourself, "Why do I "feel" defeated?" There are so many people in less fortunate circumstances than you - yet they are happy. What expectations do you have that you are not meeting?
- When you feel defeated, remind yourself that defeat is an attitude not an outcome. Make a placard or little sign and post it on your mirror or on your desk. It could say something like - Defeat is an attitude, not an outcome. I CANNOT be defeated.
- Stop crying about spilled milk. Now. Don't wallow in self pity. How do you stop crying? Get out and do something. Get up in the morning and take a walk. Exercise. Get a new hobby.
- If you cannot overcome a situation, look for alternatives. Refusing to be defeated doesn't mean butting your head against a wall over and over. Change the situation. If you cannot get a job in your field, look in a different field. If you lose your house, go get an apartment and start rebuilding. If you can't get an apartment, go to the salvation army. If you can't find housing, move in with a relative or friend. There are people who live on the street, who are not defeated. Some are... but many aren't.
- Hang out with positive people. Join the Optimist Club, Toastmasters, Kiwanis, Lion's Club or your local Chamber of Commerce.
- Give back something to society. This helps change your perspective. Volunteer.
- Take care of your spirit. Go to church, meditate, take up a martial art.
- Extend yourself grace. No one is perfect. You can and will make mistakes. Some of them will be pretty darn awful and could hurt many people. But... you don't have to let that defeat you. Make amends, say your sorry, ask for forgiveness.... then get back up and move on.
I have a friend who lost his 16 year old daughter to cancer a few years ago. I'll never forget what he told me about the day she died. While Stephanie slipped away in the hospital room all he could do was watch the heart monitor. The steady thump of her heart just wouldn't give out. Although lying on her death bed, she refused to go quietly in the night. She fought until her last breath. Although death overcame her, she was never defeated. She died with honor and dignity.
What about you? What problems are you facing? My guess it's either one of three things. Financial hardship, relationships or your health. Lost your job? Don't be defeated. Relationships going sour? Don't be defeated. Your health going bad? I know this is a tough one... but don't be defeated (You must visit these two sites for encouragement: Life Without Limbs, Nick Vujicic's website, and Bethany Hamilton's Website).
If you really feel defeated, I can only tell you that you can persevere. Anyone can overcome adversity, by just getting up. You can get up. You are just refusing to. Stop believing what others may be telling you and get up. Dust yourself off... and move on.
All the best,
All the time,