Dec
07

Just The Way You Are

by  Sonia Di Maulo  |  Leadership Development

The music, the lyrics, the vocals, the passion… I was moved to emotion. And I remembered one of my favorite quotes:

People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. – Maya Angelou

And the song “Just the Way You Are” by Bruno Mars made me feel! I was running errands a few weeks ago when I first heard this song on my car radio.  Samuel, my 8-year old, was in the back seat.  He was singing along as I was tearing up and it made me think…

Performance excellence starts by saying: You are amazing, just the way you are.

From our workplaces to our homes, we would all benefit from implementing the Mars philosophy of performance improvement: Accepting each other just the way we are, celebrating our uniqueness, and to strive, as leaders, to make people smile and stay for a while.

Read the lyrics, watch the video, and share your thoughts…

  • What emotions does it make you feel?
  • What actions can you start doing today to accept people just the way they are?
  • How can adopting the Mars philosophy lead to performance excellence?

Just The Way You Are

Oh her eyes, her eyes;
Make the stars look like they’re not shining.
Her hair, her hair;
Falls perfectly without her trying.

She’s so beautiful;
And I tell her every day.

Yeah; I know, I know,
When I compliment her
She won’t believe me.
And it’s so, it’s so

Sad to think that she don’t see what I see.
But every time she asks me “do I look okay?”,

I say:
When I see your face,
There’s not a thing that I would change.
Cause you’re amazing,
Just the way you are.

And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for a while.
‘Cause girl you’re amazing,
Just the way you are.

Yeah, Her lips, her lips;
I could kiss them all day if she’d let me.
Her laugh, her laugh;
She hates but I think it’s so sexy

She’s so beautiful,
And I tell her every day.

Oh you know, you know, you know
I never ask you to change.
If perfect’s what you’re searching for
Then just stay the same.
So, don’t even bother asking
If you look okay;
You know I say:

When I see your face,
There’s not a thing that I would change.
‘Cause you’re amazing,
Just the way you are.
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for a while.
Cause girl you’re amazing,
Just the way you are.

The way you are.
The way you are.
Girl you’re amazing,
Just the way you are.

When I see your face,
There’s not a thing that I would change.
‘Cause you’re amazing,
Just the way you are.
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for a while.
‘Cause girl you’re amazing,
Just the way you are.

Yea-eah.

What’s Next? Please leave a comment below to join the conversation…

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What People Are Saying

Jen Brentano  |  07 Dec 2010  |  Reply

Great post!

I believe that we are all uniquely designed and divinely created for something special – just the way we are. When we are given the space and embraced, we are able to step more fully into who we are meant to become. And, when we do that, the world benefits! Imagine a world where everyone is stepping and they recognize they are amazing, just the way they are!

Blessings
Jen Brentano

Sonia Di Maulo  |  07 Dec 2010  |  Reply

Jen,

Thank you for bringing “the world” into the conversation! I agree that this message, if embraced by all would make the world a better place! The imagery you provide of people stepping and knowing they are amazing is beautiful and made me smile at how wonderful that would be. I try to tackle that… one connection/conversation at a time!

Thank you for commenting.

Tristan Bishop  |  07 Dec 2010  |  Reply

Thank you Sonia!

I’d heard that tune on the radio and LOVED it. I didn’t see the video until I read your post, and the artistry of the cassette animation is sublime. Your post beautifully intertwines both heart and mind, creating the kind of inspiration that prompts action.

Each person is uniquely gifted and need only “fan into flame” their innate talents. The character-based leader invests in discerning these gifts, and then using encouragement to grow the flicker into a bonfire.

Tristan

Sonia Di Maulo  |  07 Dec 2010  |  Reply

Tristan!

Thank you for your generous feedback… my goal, always, is to prompt action, so thank you for letting me know that this post did that for you. It helps me to know that what I aim for is actually working! :)

Love the imagery of fanning the inner flames into a bonfire through the power of encouragement! We have to keep that top of mind whether we lead ourselves, peers, employees or our families.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts!

Monica Diaz  |  07 Dec 2010  |  Reply

I LOVE that song! My kids introduced me to it and the lyrics are powerful. And yes, a POWERFUL leader will LEAD JUST THE WAY HE OR SHE IS!!!! Loved the post and smiled at the song. We are connected, Sonia! Hugs.

Sonia Di Maulo  |  07 Dec 2010  |  Reply

Monica!

Definitely connected, my dear friend!!!!! Yes, of course, as powerful leaders we need to accept ourselves just the way we are, knowing that our character-based actions and decisions are amazing and true.

Great to have your thoughts here… appreciate you stopping by.

Nancy Arruda  |  07 Dec 2010  |  Reply

Sonia, I think this song is just beautiful but what I really love is how this guy is telling this girl, “Hey, stop worrying so much, you’re great just the way you are!” How many of us need to hear that? How many of us need to look in the mirror and tell ourselves that too? I believe that when we are born we already have our “mission” or “purpose” imbedded in our inner most being. The trouble is that we get conditioned by the people around us and get influenced by their expectations or ambitions for us instead of what really brings us joy. But if we get quiet long enough to hear our inner voice (or listen to those people who remind us that we’re amazing), we might remember what we are truly passionate about and find our way again. It’s all in there inside of each and every one of us. Since the day you were born, you were amazing just the way you are. Now if only we would practice getting out of our own way and letting that natural beauty shine, what magic would happen then? Great post Sonia!

Sonia Di Maulo  |  08 Dec 2010  |  Reply

Nancy, so true!

Over time our embedded purpose gets lost… as leaders it is our responsibility to re-align our authentic purpose and that of those we lead. It is a personal journey and quite magical indeed.

In my experience, allowing those around us to shine… naturally, creates a productive happy environment where everyone thrives (workplaces and homes)!

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Nancy!

Georgia Feiste  |  09 Dec 2010  |  Reply

Sonia – Thank you! We so often forget how perfect we are – and seldom let those around us know how much we enjoy the real person underneath the role they are playing. Life is amazing – and to let those around us know how they create the energy that sustains that is critical not only to them, but to us.

Georgia

Sonia Di Maulo  |  13 Dec 2010  |  Reply

Georgia!

Yes, so critical to us. Accepting ourselves as we are is potentially more difficult/important to be truly able to accept others.

Accepting others (as I call it Exposing Exceptional Performance) with even the little things, lights a fire deep inside of me and makes me shine in all aspects of my life.

Honored by your visit and comment, Georgia!

Sonia

Erin Schreyer  |  10 Dec 2010  |  Reply

Sonia,

I love this song and am singing along as I type my comment!!! :-)

I also often refer to another sone, by Johnny Diaz, which states “You were made to fill a purpose that only you can do. There could never be a more beautiful you.”

Indeed, were are all just as we are intended. It’s our job to be aware and to bring the best of who we are…and when we do, it’s amazing and perfect in our own way!!!

Thanks for the great reminder!!
Erin

Sonia Di Maulo  |  13 Dec 2010  |  Reply

Wonderful comment, Erin.

Simple AND powerful words… “we are all just as we are intended”. Finding out this intent often comes from accepting ourselves and each other and to stop fighting how we “should” be.

Glad you liked the post, Erin. I am in the process of reconnecting with my intended purpose… Getting the World Ready to Feedback, and am grateful for your guidance throughout this journey.

You are a great friend! Truly appreciate your comment!!!!

Sonia

Mike rao-leadership  |  12 Dec 2010  |  Reply

Sonia,

Fantastic post. A great reminder of how wonderful we all are even though some may feel they are flawed. Embrace who you are and celebrate. Share and impact others in a positive way.

I think back to leaders I have worked for and remember how frustrated I would become when a few of these leaders would cast off people who didn’t fit into their box of what or how a valuable employee should act or contribute. These so called “leaders” cast off these unique and amazing individuals because they didn’t understand the importance of accepting people for who they are and failed to take the time to gain a deep understanding of how their unique differences could be utilized to help the individual achieve greater heights and improve our organization.

As a leader and as an individual our legacy should be one of impacting others in a positive way without thinking about how we will benefit from doing so.

Sonia Di Maulo  |  13 Dec 2010  |  Reply

Mike,

Powerful comment! Thank you for sharing your experiences here… this real-life story has truly added to this great discussion.

A key thought from your comment which has hit home: “As a leader and as an individual our legacy should be one of impacting others in a positive way without thinking about how we will benefit from doing so.”

How about… “As a leader and as an individual our legacy should be one of impacting others in a positive way thinking about how we can all benefit.”

We are all stronger as a whole than as individual parts… this Lead Change group is a GREAT example of that. I bring this idea to action with my clients… helping them to see that we can only get better by focusing on the positive. The good news is that we have a lot of rewarding work ahead of us!

Thank you so much for stopping by and for sharing your story.

Sonia

Patricia Lee Riesenkampff  |  27 Oct 2011  |  Reply

Dear Sonia,
these comments and this true personal resonance which is reflected in everyones words must be edifying to you and your impetus for positive leadership.
Allow me to comment about one particular point you made about allowing others to shine.
Each of us has been given, at birth, wonderful talents and personal assets. It has been my experience in life that these important aspects of individual talent, potential and prowess are nearly always given for the benefit of others. Maybe if we could all realize that when we take our own personal development and uniqueness seriously and embrace that of others as well as helping them also to learn to shine, then we really can make this necessary difference amongst leaders and people everywhere to trust the universe and the power thereof for the tremendous positive results which will ensue.
Wishing you all the best and thanks for sharing this message ,
Patricia

Sonia Di Maulo  |  01 Nov 2011  |  Reply

Patricia!

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts here. I completely agree. We are given talents so that others can benefit. I can remember very distinct moments in my past, where I knew there was something I needed to do for the benefit of others, but could not fully comprehend what it was until October 2008 when the seed for my company “Harvest Performance” was planted.

So to take your thought further. Sometimes, given societal and family pressures, we lose awareness of the wonderful talent and personal asset we were given at birth and start walking on a different path. Self-awareness and accepting (or learning about) our true selves, “Just the way we are” can have a big impact on how we lead others. I know it did for me.

A very thought provoking comment. Thank you for sharing it, Patricia.

Yours in growth,
Sonia

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