Today we are faced with the pre-eminent fact that, if civilization is to survive, we must cultivate the science of human relationships.   —Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 1945

Your emotions and actions impact those you lead.  Research indicates that a ten percent increase in a perception of a leader who creates a positive emotional work climate results in a three-fold increase in performance output and customer satisfaction.  Individuals receive an emotional signal, good or bad, within the first 30 seconds of meeting you.  The next 30 seconds will either confirm or deny this emotional signal to follow, or not follow, your leadership.  Their decision has everything to do with the positive emotional connection between you and them.  Clients, partners, employees and friends stay in relationships because they feel appreciated, utilized, enhanced and rewarded.

Think about the relationships you left.  You most likely left based on feelings of being limited, exploited, ignored, bored or drained in some way. Reciprocity is not about you or them.  It is about a shared emotional connection that elevates performance FLOW.  It is about US not YOU.

Research on employee engagement consistently indicates that employees leave bosses that do not inspire a “feel good or positive emotional climate”. When people feel good, they work better, are more creative and productive. Good feelings are like lubrication for the brain – mental efficiency goes up, innovation sparks, residence is strengthened, memory is sharpened, and people understand directions more quickly and make better decisions.

What can leaders do to hone their reciprocity skills? According to Lou Cassara, author of From Selling to Serving, The Essence of Client Creation   people follow and buy from you due to the positive “emotional pull”.

Cassara suggests connecting with at least 5 people you value as a client, leader or peer annually asking them the following 4 questions.

(1)    Why did you choose to engage/interact with me?

(2)    What values/qualities do we share?

(3)    How have I exemplified these values/qualities?

(4)    In three words, what’s the value ( personal win)  of our relationship to you?

(5)    Do I deliver what I  say I will?  It’s better to under-promise and over-deliver!

This year, I suggest placing the following sign on your desk, laptop or index card:

Emotions are contagious!

I welcome your thoughts @cynthia@smart2smarter.com

My next blog post with explore how leaders can balance feeling  good with results!

Cynthia Kivland

Cynthia Kivland

Cynthia Kivland, Owner and President of Smart2Smarter.com has over twenty five years of accomplished experience, as a coach, coach educator, consultant and trainer for very smart leaders and the teams they lead. She is author of Smart2Smarter- How Emotional and Social Connections Bring Humanity Into the Workplace and she's also a co-founder and President of Workplace Coach Institute and a board certified coach, Master Career Counselor and Certified Leadership and Talent Management Coach.In addition to her website and her book above, you can connect with Cynthia on LinkedIn and Twitter (@WCICoach) too!
Cynthia Kivland